Friday, January 30, 2009

For the Love of God - He Has a Boat!!

Doesn't he look harmless - just sitting peacefully in his beach chair? Drink in hand, pondering life while he gazes at the ocean before him.

What does he ponder on? Why - getting a boat of course!!

Since we arrived in Bucerias, the thought of procuring a boat of some sort has not left his brain. Whenever he brings it up, I try to find some shiny thing that I can only hope will distract him from this horrible, horrible quest.

Unfortunately, I could only carry this ruse so far ...

We took a trip into the Puerto Vallarta Costco the other evening (fabulous place by the way - looks just like every other Costco on the planet with one exception - NO CROWDS - guess Costco hasn't caught on with the Mexicans as much as it has with us Norteamericanos), and what should we happen upon - but a stupid blow-up dinghy.

Well, of course he had to have it.

The next day, he promptly inflates it, and informs me that 'we're heading out for a boat ride'. We throw it on top of the Saturn, and have to hold on to the ropes that run along its' sides in order to keep it perched on top for the ride down the hill.

As soon as we exit the park, we look towards the ocean - and I can see unbelievably high breakers crashing onto the shore.

Now, we are probably 2-1/2 long blocks up from the ocean - a fair distance. For us to see these breakers so visibly doesn't bode well...

I hastily inform Terry that "there is no way in hell that I am getting into the boat with those waves'. I am immediately 'poo-poo'ed' by Terry, and off we go to the beach.

Sure enough - the breakers are unbelievably high. I tell Terry that I will watch him from shore as he takes his boat out on its maiden voyage. So off he goes.

He puts the boat in the water, and immediately begins fighting the waves, rowing madly. The pounding surf keeps turning him around and back to the shore. It's not looking so good.

He gets a little further out, rowing madly, when all of a sudden a huge wave folds his boat in half and Terry is tossed - ass over teakettle - into the ocean.

I am sitting on the shore, laughing so hard it hurts - slapping my knees - while passers-by ask me 'why I didn't bring my video camera'.

He finally surfaces, sans sunglasses (off to Davey Jones' locker), and looking a little perturbed. He drags the boat up on shore, has a beer, and regroups.

Being the rational one, I urge him to consider saving it for another day, when the waves are not so rough. But this time, it's personal - so he will not let it go.

Plan B involves walking the boat out past the breakers, and jumping in. Mission accomplished!!! Off he goes, rowing up and down the beach.

Feeling that all is okay, I return to reading my book - only to miss his return to the beach, which was apparently a more spectacular flip and crash than I had witnessed the first time!! People were stopping and thanking him for the show!

But - the die was cast - he had his boat, and he made it out on the water. Next step - dragging me out there with him!

A couple of days later - off we go. The owner of the RV Park wisely dropped off some lifejackets for us (bless his heart), so Sandy immediately straps herself into one. We drag the boat (and cooler full of beer), into the water. I am sitting - Terry is pushing us out.

There are waves - Sandy is freaking out - almost a disaster, but Terry pulls it off. Jumping in - he begins paddling madly, and we're seabound.

I was not quite comfortable with the situation, but tolerated the trip, while at the same time observing how the waves were beginning to rise in both size and frequency.

When it came time to head in to shore - things were looking bad. I knew we were in trouble when Terry told me to 'take off my sunglasses and put them into the bag'. Determined not to go into the drink, I watched the waves while Terry, with his back to them, continued to paddle.

Seeing a brief lull in the waves, I urged Terry to 'paddle, paddle, paddle'!!!! We frantically rode the waves in without disaster. I was never so happy to see land.

Now that Gary is here - I am hoping he is into boat rides ....

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